The Reason Why
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: Set around season 1. Dean is sideswiped by a car, and Sam still has to force his brother to seek medical attention, the reason why Dean did not want to see a doctor will leave Sam reeling. *Being Rewritten*
1. Introduction

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, or the characters thereof. This is just for fun.**_

_**I know that it has been a long time since I've done anything with this fic, sorry! So here's the start of a rewritten version of 'The Reason Why'**_

**_Enjoy_**

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><p><strong>The Beginning<strong>

It was a night not unlike any other in the small town of Price, Utah, and Dean Winchester had been drinking at a bar, while his brother Sam was back at their latest motel, searching for another hunt.

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><p>The bar itself was rather ordinary, Dean thought, and as for the women it was slim pickings that night, but sometimes it just seemed easier to stay out, at least for another hour.<p>

But after many hours of drinking Dean no longer had much of a choice other than to return to the motel as the bar was closing.

After paying off of his tab, Dean stumbled drunkenly out into the night.

Dean had no idea of the events that would follow.

That was when Dean stumbled, just walking along the footpath, and in his severely inebriated state he had no chance to catch himself, as he fell into the car's path.

The driver tried to swerve, but it was too late, there was no time for the guy to stop. The car hit Dean on his left side, violently throwing him several feet through the air.

Before the driver could get to him, Dean was already on his feet, walking away; between the alcohol and adrenaline in Dean's system, he barely felt the impact, he certainly couldn't tell if he was injured.

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><p>Sam was sitting on his bed, working on his laptop, as he saw a figure through the window. It wasn't hard to tell that the guy was in bad shape; little did Sam know that it was his own brother.<p>

Sam went out to the balcony to see if the guy needed help, and as he stepped out of the room. Only as he caught sight of the man under the dim lighting of the motel balcony could Sam realise that this man was no stranger, it was his older brother, soaked, bleeding, and struggling to walk. He quickly closed the short distance between himself and his brother. "Shit, Dean... What the hell'd you do?" Sam murmured as he wrapped his arm around Dean, helping him back into the room.

Dean slurred his words as he replied, "Had a bit of a run in with a car, Sammy."

Sam could smell the alcohol on his brother's breath, but Dean's slurring still worried him, especially if he'd been hit by a car, and knowing that this would not be the first time that Dean had been badly hurt and failed to disclose the full extent of his injuries.

As Sam helped Dean make a less than graceful decent onto the closer bed, he urgently asked him, "What happened exactly, Dean? Did you get hit by a car?"

Dean was struggling to stay awake, he just kept drifting off as his brother tried desperately to get an explanation, any kind of explanation.

"Come on Dean, talk to me," Sam kept urging his brother to stay awake as he checked him over. As far as Sam could tell Dean wasn't hurt too badly, maybe a couple of broken ribs, some relatively minor cuts and scrapes, a dislocated shoulder. What worried Sam was his brother's level of consciousness, and the fact that he was feeling little to no pain, when Sam found a large contusion on the back of Dean's head, that set it in his mind, he needed to take Dean to the hospital, especially if he couldn't get the full story out of him.

"Dean, come on, wake up. We've got to get you to the hospital, you're hurt too bad for me to patch you up."

For a second Dean appeared to be cooperating, then as though a switch flipped in his sluggish mind, Dean turned around, and bluntly said, "Not going to hospital."

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><p>Despite Dean's continued protests, soon they arrived at the local hospital; Sam had blocked out Dean's increasingly panicked complaints as he drove, firmly set in his mind that Dean needed to be checked out by a doctor.<p>

As Sam half carried Dean into the emergency department, they were quickly approached by several nurses and orderlies, who took Dean straight back into the treatment area, while Sam was asked to wait.

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><p>Three hours later, Sam was finally approached by one of the hospital's more experienced emergency physicians, Dr King. As they stood in the waiting area, Sam was delivered a devastating blow that he had never, not even in his worst nightmare could have seen coming, "Sam, would you happen to know, is Dean bulimic?"<p>

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><p><em><strong>TBC... More soon<strong>_

_**Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to drop me a review.**_


	2. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, or the characters thereof. This is just for fun.**_

_**Hi, everyone I am rewriting this fic, so please go back and check out the new first chapter.**_

**_Enjoy_**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Sam was stunned, he didn't know what to say. There was no way that Dean could possibly do _that_, could he? Sam had known a girl in college who had been bulimic, it was a horrible affliction.

This could not be happening.

"But I brought Dean in because he got hit by a car."

"I understand that, but while we were examining your brother myself and several of the nursing staff noticed some signs that can be indicative of an eating disorder; scarring and lacerations to the back of his throat and fingers, erosion of the enamel on his back teeth. The blood workup we did also revealed a quite severe electrolyte imbalance and low potassium."

"...Our job's pretty physical, he was drunk when I brought him in, and he got hurt today, couldn't all that explain those things you said?"

"I'm sorry, they can't. I've called down a psychiatrist to see Dean; it should give us a better idea of how to proceed."

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><p>Sam was allowed back to see Dean while they were waiting for the psychiatrist. Dean had sobered up quite a bit, and the medical staff had cleaned and dressed his various injuries from the accident; they did a scan of his brain just to be safe, it was fine, he was sitting up on the hospital bed, chatting up a nurse.<p>

Awkwardly, Sam announced his presence, "Heya Dean, you feeling better man?"

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><p>It took less than an hour before Dean tried to sign out against medical advice. The psychiatrist had been to see him, and Dean knew that the secret that he held so close had finally been found out.<p>

He had to get out of there.

Sam tried to stop him, to no avail.

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><p>On their way out of the hospital, Sam was pulled aside by the doctor who had treated Dean. The doctor felt obligated to tell him the more frightening realities of the disease his brother was facing, "You need to be aware, Sam, if your brother continues to vomit so frequently he is at real risk of suffering complications. Bulimia puts a massive strain on the heart, amongst other organs, it can put the sufferers at risk of sudden cardiac death." The doctor handed Sam several pamphlets, "These are the names and numbers of several centres that treat people suffering from eating disorders. I know you want to help Dean, and when Dean is willing to accept help these services can help both of you."<p>

Sam was prevented from having any further interaction, as Dean reached in the doorway, and yanked his brother away from the doctor. He didn't need anyone's help.

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><p>It was an cold, silent drive back to the motel, as neither brother was willing to break the silence. As Sam and Dean stepped into their room, Dean tried to go straight to bed, but Sam had other ideas. Though Sam knew that Dean needed to rest, he did have a concussion, dislocated shoulder and three cracked ribs, but that didn't worry him nearly as much as the idea of what Dean had been doing to himself for years behind everyone's backs, his included.<p>

Sam blocked his brother's way to the bed, "Dean. You can't just ignore what happened tonight, we've got to talk man."

"Get out of my way, Sam."

Sam didn't move, he was determined to get answers. "Come on, Dean. After what happened, how can you think that we are not going to talk about this, Dean? How long has this been going on? Why are you hurting yourself?"

"Get out of my fucking way!" Dean shouted at his brother, as he turned on his heels, and stormed out. How dare Sam even try to talk about this! It's none of his business! He has no idea.

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><p>Growing up the way he had was never easy for Dean Winchester. Since his mother was murdered by a demon when he was just four years old, Dean had been on the road with his father, John, and baby brother, Sam, staying in the cheapest, least sanitary, most rundown place in town, as all their money would be spent by their father to buy supplies for the hunts he went on. When his father went on hunts, from the time Dean was five, he was left in motels with Sam, often, and often he would have to scrounge for food as his father seldom left them enough. His father was an obsessed bastard, though Dean couldn't see that past his unwavering support for the man, John was a drill sergeant to his boys, ordering them around, never showing them any compassion or care, unless they were bleeding to death, which happened too often. And then his brother abandoned him, after everything Dean had done for Sam, Sam left them, just so that he could go off to some college on the west coast, and be 'Joe college'.<p>

And if Dean hadn't have found his saviour, he most likely wouldn't be alive.

The disorder became his protector from the world. When everything else in his world was going to hell, Dean had a 'friend' right there to help him through it.

That friend's name was bulimia nervosa.

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><p>The first time it happened, Dean was eleven, back then he didn't even know really why he did it, he didn't know that it had a name, and that it was a problem, he just couldn't cope, and it saved him.<p>

Sam had broken his arm, he'd fallen at the playground, on Dean's watch of course; Sam and their father were still at the hospital, John had sent Dean home, but not before yelling at him, scolding him, saying that it was his fault that Sam was hurt.

Dean got inside, there were tears welling in his eyes, but he would not cry, it was a sign of weakness, that's what his father always told him, never cry. Dean went straight to the kitchen, and in a matter of minutes he had consumed almost the entire contents of the pantry and fridge, right there on the dirty kitchen floor, he lay there for a minute, when there was no food left, his stomach hurt, it felt impossibly full, that's when the compulsion hit Dean, gotta get rid of it.

It took a couple of tries, forcing his two of his fingers as far back in his throat as possible over the toilet, but at last he got it, as the half digested food poured out of his mouth, Dean felt a weight lift from his shoulders, by the time there was nothing left, he felt great, calm and honestly pleased with himself, quietly proud of what he'd achieved.

A couple of hours later Dean realised what he'd done, he realised how crazy it was, looking at the kitchen that was littered with food packaging, but held no food, he felt enormous guilt, and he swore that he'd never do it again. Then despite the by then late hour, Dean grabbed the small amount of money he had, and went out to the supermarket the replace the food, no one could ever know.

It was only two weeks before it happened again though, and so a vicious cycle began.

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><p><em><strong>TBC...<strong>_

_**Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to drop me a review.**_


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